LEAGUE OF LEGENDS SILLIES
by BloodAvenger42
Summary: This is going to be the center of all my random League of Legends story ideas from cheesy romance to silly quips all from the deepest bowels of my imagination. ENJOY! Disclaimer: I do not own League of Legends or the characters nor do I own any references that may come up during the stories. Newest Addition: The Most DEMACIAN Man in the World?
1. Ezreal: Gay or Just from Piltover?

**Ezreal: Gay or Just from Piltover?**

_"This is Janna here usually keeping you updated on the weather, but now giving you a big scoop on Valoran's latest scandal! Ezreal, the Prodigal Explorer and a renown champion of the League of Legends has recently been accused of cheating on his current girlfriend, Luxanna Crownguard, the Lady of Luminosity. But the most interesting factor is who the affair was with. Most citizens agree that the affair was with another woman, but a select few of the Prodigal Explorer's closer friends say that it was not a woman, but a man. Thus the question lingers in the air: Is the Prodigal Explorer gay or just from Piltover? This has been a report by your _**weather forecaster**_Janna who only signed up to talk about the _**weather**_… tune in next time!"_

* * *

Deep in the halls of the Institute of War, a gathering was in place consisting of strictly the champions of the League of Legends and by some miracle _all_ of them seemed be present and curiously not killing each other. All of their attention was upon a certain explorer sitting on a lone chair in the middle of the room squirming in his seat. Ezreal stole a glance at a certain blonde mage who was currently hiding her face in her brother's chest clearly upset while the said brother favored Ezreal with a death glare. Ezreal cringed under the hard gaze _really_ not wanting to be on the receiving end of the Might of Demacia's wrath. Ezreal started to feel a bit hot under all the stares and subconsciously loosened his color while leaning back and trying to act cool. A sudden shout echoed throughout the room causing him to jump and for everybody to look upon the speaker who was a woman bright red hair with a scar down her left eye.

"There!" she cried pointing directly at Ezreal, "Right there!"

Everybody immediately threw his or her gaze upon Ezreal searching for whatever the Sinister Blade saw. The poor boy froze in place as his eyes flicked around at all the powerful champions staring at him.

_Is there something on my face?_

After a few seconds of looking and finding nothing everybody turned back to look at Katarina with confused expressions.

"What are we looking for?" asked Talon, the Blade's Shadow in confusion.

Katarina sighed before pointing at Ezreal again.

"Look at his tanned, well-tinted skin!" she said before appraising him again, "And that killer shape he's in!"

All the champions looked again at Ezreal before looking back at Katarina once again, only this time with the men still confused while the females and a select few males were looking a bit thoughtful.

"Mundo is not seeing it," said the muscular purple hunk a.k.a. the Madman of Zuan.

Katarina rolled her eyes before gesturing to Ezreal again.

"Add that slightly stubbly chin and you'll see that this guy is gay, _totally_ gay," she said.

There were a few nods of agreement from other champions with others a bit unsure. Suddenly a massive floating eyeball floated to the center of the room behind Ezreal.

_**"While studying you humans, I've learned quite a bit about your behavior and from these studies I have found that many other of the male species who have a sexual interest in the opposite sex behaving similar to the homophilic male specimens," **_he said in his eerie voice, _**"Therefore I move that this specimen is not interested in the same sex."**_

Immediately after the Eye of the Void finished his spiel, the other champions went from disturbed to thoughtful in seconds at that while Katarina glared in annoyance at the floating eyeball.

"It _is_ the Baron Nasher in the room," said Pantheon, the Artisan of War from his place next to Leona, the Radiant Dawn.

"But is truly relevant to presume that a man that… wears perfume is automatically… er…" muttered Leona squirming for a politically correct term.

"Matically fay?" supplied Teemo, the Swift Scout supplied in his high-pitched voice.

"Uh… sure… yeah…" said Leona.

Darius, the Hand of Noxus scrutinized the Prodigal explorer before looking to his brother, the Glorious Executioner.

"But look at his quoft and crispy locks," he said.

Draven looked at Ezreal for a split-second before looking back at the mirror he was holding to admire himself. Katarina answered instead with a counter suggestion suddenly shunpoing in front of Ezreal and lifting up one of his pant legs before he could react revealing rather… peculiar looking socks.

"Look at his silk, translucent socks!"

Everybody thought of both of these suggestions while Ezreal smacked away Katarina's hand indignantly. Suddenly Shen, Eye of Twilight, stepped forward.

"I believe there is an eternal paradox in what we are seeing," he suggested.

Behind him, Akali, the Fist of Shadow blinked in confusion.

"What are we seeing, Master Shen?" she asked.

Shen started to pace around Ezreal with Katarina and Vel'Koz backing away to give him space.

"Is he… gay…" he started.

"Of course he's gay!" interrupted Katarina.

Shen suddenly turned to Katarina pointing a finger in the air.

"Or just from Piltover?"

Everybody stared at Shen before slowly letting out thoughtful sounds while certain citizens of the said city furrowed his or her brows in indignation.

"Gay… or just from Piltover…" repeated Nasus, Curator of the Sands.

"It's hard to guarantee," huffed Renekton, Butcher of the Sands.

"Is he gay or just from Piltover?" asked Ashe, the Frost Archer with a look of genuine curiosity directed at the Defender of Tomorrow.

Jayce blanched when he saw the other champions direct their attention to him. He immediately put his hands up and took a step back while shaking his head.

"H-Hey don't look at me," he stuttered.

Suddenly the Loose Cannon stepped forward with a smile on her face.

"Fishbones says he knows!" she said before throwing the said rocket launcher on her shoulder causing the air in the room to tense.

Suddenly Jinx put a hand on the rocket launcher's mouth (which looked much like a fish head) and started to move the bottom lip up and down to give off the illusion that it was talking while supplying the voice with her own in a lower octave.

"You see they bring their boys up different in those charming foreign ports," said Fishbones (Jinx), "They play peculiar sports in shiny shirts and tiny shorts."

Jinx lifted a brow at her rocket launcher.

"They do?" she asked as if she wasn't speaking earlier.

Jinx made Fishbones nod up and down.

"Yes, you would notice this too if you weren't so busy blowing everything up all the time," said Fishbones in a chastising voice.

"Stupid, dumb rocket launcher…" growled Jinx banging it with her hand.

Everybody stared at the mentally unstable living weapon from Zuan uncomfortably before Ziggs, the Hexplosives Expert coughed into his hand.

"So… gay or foreign fella?" he asked.

"The answer could take weeks," complained Tristana, the Megling Gunner.

"They will say things like er… what did Viktor call it… or right 'chabella'" stated Tryndamere, the Barbarian King before looking slightly disturbed, "And then kiss you on both cheeks."

All the champions turned their attention to the mentioned Machine Herald who simply shrugged.

"It is a common greeting seen throughout Piltover," he said nonchalantly in his mechanical voice, "And it's 'caio bella' you imbecile."

"Oh please," groaned Katarina.

_**"Gay… or just from Piltover…" **_muttered Kha'Zix, the Voidreaver in confusion as this conversation had nothing to do with his survival… or maybe it did… he didn't know.

"So many shades of gray," muttered Irelia Lito, Will of the Blades.

Suddenly Singed, the Mad Chemist stepped forward.

"Depending on the time of day the Zuanites go either way," he said.

Everybody cocked their head at this before Nidalee, the Bestial Huntress spoke up.

"But I thought we were talking about Piltover…" she said cocking her head in confusion.

"Well Zuan and Piltover are kind of in the same category if you think about it," said Janna, the Storm's Fury, "Zuan is just a more messed up version of Piltover."

"But back to the subject at hand," said Master Yi, the Wuju Bladesman.

"Gay… or just from Pilldover…" muttered Wukong, the Monkey King while eating a banana.

"_Piltover_," corrected the Piltover champions in annoyance.

"Whatever," said Wukong waving his hand dismissively.

Suddenly Miss Sarah Fortune, the Bounty Hunter jabbed a finger at Ezreal with wide eyes.

"THERE!" she screamed, "Right there!"

Everybody immediately threw his or her attention on Ezreal once again who could only freeze. He had been looking around at everybody with a rather peculiar smirk on his face.

"Look at that condescending smirk!" said Miss Fortune, "I've seen on every guy while working at Graggy's Bar!"

"What are you suggesting?" asked Elise, the Spider Queen.

Miss Fortune looked to her with a look of certainty on her face.

"He is a… a… metro hetro jerk!" she said.

Elise blinked.

"Metro… hetro…"

"The point is that I say he isn't gay, I say no way!" continued Miss Fortune.

"Ain't it the Baron Nasher in the room?" said asked Fizz, the Tidal Trickster.

"Well is it relevant to presume," said Sivir, the Battle Mistress while appraising Ezreal like a piece of meat, "That a hotty in that costume is…"

"Automatically, radically…" added Diana, Scorn of the Moon.

"Ironically, chronically…" grunted Sion, the Undead Champion.

"Scurtinly, curtainly…" perked Annie, the Dark Child.

"Genetically, netically…" chuckled Graves, the Outlaw.

"Gay?" whispered Rumble, the Mechanized Menace to Lulu, the Fae Sorceress.

"Officially gay!" agreed Veigar, the Tiny (STOP LAUGHING) Master of Evil.

"Officially gay, gay gay, ga-!" said everyone in agreement with growing confidence until they spotted Ezreal ogling Ahri's chest.

When Ezreal saw that he was caught, he immediately spun his head whistling in the air.

"DAMNIT!" everyone cried in despair… hell even the Chained Warden wanted to cry in a corner.

"Gay or just from Piltover?" grumbled Brand, the Burning Vengeance.

**"So stylish and relaxed…"** observed Varus, the Arrow of Retribution.

"Well is he gay or just from Piltover?!" growled Vi, the Piltover Enforcer in exasperation.

"I think his chest is waxed," deadpanned Vladimir, the Crimson Reaper.

Vi looked at the vampire with a look of 'How in the Void do you know that'. Suddenly Jinx shoved Fishbones in between Vladimir and Vi while making the rocket launcher talk.

"But they bring their boys up different," stated Fishbones, "They're as culturally diverse!"

"It's not a fashion curse if he wears a kilt or bears a purse," explained Jarvan VI, Exemplar of Demacia to Sona, Maven of the Strings.

"GaY oR juSt ExoTiC," inquired Orianna, Lady of Clockwork.

"I STILL CAN'T CRACK THE CODE," stated Blitzcrank, the Great Steam Golem.

"Yet his accent is hypnotic," gushed Lux from her place next to her brother, "but his shoes are pointy toed."

"Like mine?" asked Shaco, the Demon Jester bringing up one of his feet for all to see.

"Well… it's a bit more subtle but it's there," anwered Lux.

"Huh," muttered everyone at the same time.

"Be he gay or just from Piltover?!" yelled Gangplank, the Saltwater Scourge while shaking his fists at the ceiling.

"So many shades of gray," whimpered Amumu, the Sad Mummy.

"But if he turns out straight I'm free at 8 on Saturday," said Ahri, the Nine-tailed Fox while casting a sensual smile towards Ezreal who started to tug on his collar in sweat.

"Is he gay or just from Piltover?!" shouted Trundle, the Troll King.

"Gay or just from Piltover…" muttered Yasuo, the Unforgiven in his drunken haze.

_**"Gay or just from Pi-," **_started Cho'Gath, the Terror of the Void.

"Wait a moment!" shouted Twisted Fate, the Card Master effectively getting himself in the center of attention, "Give me a chance to crack this guy, I have an idea I'd like to try…"

"The floor is yours," said Galio, the Sentinel's Sorrow.

Twisted Fate walked up to the Prodigal Explorer with a sly grin on his face making the said man a bit uncomfortable.

"Prodigal Explorer… your affair with Ms. Crownguard has been going on for…" asked Twisted Fate.

Ezreal saw no harm in answering the simple question.

"Four months," Ezreal answered smoothly.

"And your first name again is?" asked Twisted Fate.

Ezreal rolled his eyes.

"Ezreal," he deadpanned.

"And your boyfriend's name is?" asked Twisted Fate.

"Taric," Ezreal answered in the same tone.

Everybody gasped at that making Ezreal realize his mistake.

"I-I'm sorry! You said boyfriend I thought you said best friend!" Ezreal quickly amended, "Taric is my… best friend."

Suddenly the doors to the room were thrown open and the Gem Knight himself strode in with a livid expression on his face directed at Ezreal. The other champions immediately made way for him with a bit of fear in their eyes. He even had the Eternal Nightmare quivering.

"YOU BASTARD!" he roared taking everyone aback.

Most were used to Taric having a soul as kind as Sona's and as calm as Ashe's. What they saw was anger similar to Rengar's, the Pridestalker's whenever he loses to Kha'Zix. Some could say it was worse.

"YOU LYING BASTARD!" continued Taric getting right into Ezreal's face, "That's it! I will cover for you NO MORE!"

Taric suddenly turned to address the others.

"PEOPLES! I HAVE A BIG ANNOUNCEMENT!" roared Taric, "This man is gay _AND_ from Piltover!"

"WHOA!" cried everybody else.

"You can see it on his face!" continued Taric.

"Huh?" asked everyone.

"You've got to stop your being of completely closet case," said Taric turning to Ezreal.

"Hah!" laughed everybody in perfect sync.

"It is what you're seeing, no matter what he say!" said Taric before shaking his head, "I swear he never ever ever swing the other way."

Taric suddenly spun and jabbed a finger right at Ezreal's nose.

"You are so gay! You big parfait! You flaming boy in cabaret!" he yelled.

"I'm straight," Ezreal tried to counter meekly.

"You were not yesterday," deadpanned Taric before addressing the crowd once again, "So if I may, I'm proud to say… he's gay!"

"And from Piltover," murmured everybody else.

"He's gay!" repeated Taric.

"And from Piltover," started everybody getting louder.

"He's gay!" hollered Taric raising his arms with a wide smile.

"He's from Piltover and gay!" yelled everybody else in agreement with big smiles on their facs.

"Okay, okay I'm gay?!" admitted Ezreal with a squeak.

"HOORAY!"

* * *

Ezreal bolted upright breathing hard as he scanned his surroundings frantically.

"Ez…? Is there something wrong?"

Ezreal looked down to the source of the voice only to see Lux lying beside him in the same bed rubbing her eyes like a small child. It then clicked in Ezreal's head that they were in Lux's room at the Institute of War. The two had decided to crash there after yet another date that ran pretty smoothly… until Ezreal went to sleep. The Prodigal Explorer shook his head and turned to his concerned girlfriend.

"Nothing you need to worry about, just a... crazy dream," said Ezreal.

Lux seemed too tired to press further as she simply nodded.

"Okay…" she murmured.

Ezreal sighed and lay back down put an arm around the small of Lux's back while the girl cuddled into his chest with a content sigh. Ezreal stared absent-mindedly at the picture he and Lux took on one of their dates sitting on Lux's nightstand. The was certainly by far the weirdest dream that he had ever dreamt and he wasn't sure what he thought of it, but two things were for certain: he was most definitely _just from Piltover_ and he was _not_ going to be watching another musical about blondes anytime soon.

**FIN**


	2. Operation Renekton!

Operation Renekton

All was silent on the grassy plateau… there was a small breeze that fluttered about rustling the leaves of the nearby trees, but that was all. At either side of the plateau were strips of tall grass that could easily conceal a car and beyond were rivers that would only reach the middle of an average person's shin. At the two sides of land that trailed from the plateau were great stone statues that seemed to guard the paths down the forest that surrounded the piece of land. The statues, however, were not the same, on one end was of a noble warrior with beautiful blue gems adorning his stone armor and shield, on the other was another armored warrior with a demonic sort of armor with wicked purple stones placed within his armor and shield. The two stone warriors stood vigilant and unmoving making the silence of the forest seem more profound. That is until a single sound boomed across the forest disturbing the ominous silence. A sound so loud that it shook the grass and caused ripples across the water. What could this sound have been you ask? Well it could be more like two words and those words were:

"_**First Blood."**_

* * *

**"You fool! I told you to go in at 1:50! Not 1:15!"**

"I thought I had him! How was I supposed to know that Blitzcrank was sitting in that bush? The bush, I might add, that _you_ were supposed to be watching!"

**"FOOLISH HUMAN!"**

Nasus, the Curator of the Sands let out a heavy sigh as he watched the two figures in front of him bicker. The other team's Blitzcrank had just aced his team within three minutes of the game due to the AD Carry being caught by an expertly aimed grab. Nasus' team consisted of himself, his brother, Renekton, the Butcher of the Sands, Ezreal, the Prodigal Explorer, Lux, the Lady of Luminosity and Sona, the Maven of the Strings. Currently, Renekton and Ezreal were having a heated debate over whose fault it was leaving Nasus, Lux and Sona to stand at the sidelines looking back and forth between the two. Nasus finally decided that enough was enough and stepped in between the two.

**"Enough!"** growled Nasus stepping in between the two, **"Your mindless bickering has wasted enough time, what we need to do is get back to our lanes and win this game!"**

There were nods from Sona and Lux in agreement to this statement. Renekton and Ezreal continued to glare at each other for a bit more before begrudgingly heading towards their respective positions. Nasus sighed in relief before turning to the two females of their team and nodded to them before heading off towards his own lane. When he got there he was met with the familiar sound that seemed to make even his eardrums ring.

"DEMACIA!"

_Hmph… it seems I am up against the Might of Demacia… and he is a couple of levels ahead of me._

Nasus ran briskly to his turret, which was dangerously low on health thanks to Garen's persistent attacks.

_I must change the course of this battle quickly._

With that, Nasus slammed an augmented axe down on an unsuspecting minion and he immediately felt the runes of the weapon empower and heal him at the same time. Garen swiftly retreated to a respectable distance knowing that he couldn't take on Nasus and the tower at the same time.

"Greetings Curator of the Sands, I was wondering where you were," said Garen.

Nasus nodded to his opponent as he continued to farm near the safety of his turret.

**"Things didn't bode so well during that first skirmish… my brother was infuriated,"** said Nasus with a sigh.

Garen nodded his head in understanding.

"I understand, I hope that despite that incident we may still have a good match," he said.

**"As do I, Might of Demacia,"** answered Nasus.

With pleasantries aside, the two continued to skirmish although it consisted of Garen putting all the aggression in until Nasus was pushed to the tower before retreating. This cycle seemed to happen over and over again until the voice echoed over the field once again.

_**"An ally has been slain."**_

Nasus and Garen looked up briefly at the voice before looking back at each other with withered looks. Renekton had died yet again while ganking the bottom lane.

**"I do hope that Ezreal didn't let my brother die on purpose…"** muttered Nasus.

Garen nodded before the two continued with their battle. Slowly but surely Nasus started to gain an even footing with Garen much to both of their delight. Garen was happy simply because he wished for an honorable fight not a one-sided beating, something that Nasus had come to respect about the human. Suddenly Nasus sensed a signal from Renekton that he was on his way to his lane. By this time Nasus had his ultimate ability and was sure that Renekton had it by this time as well seeing as they were 15 minutes into the game. Nasus and Garen were on even footing pushing each other to and fro, but with neither willing to relinquish a kill. The others weren't doing so well. Lux was killed thrice by Katarina due to some terrible slip-ups and misjudgments and her tower was at half health, but on the upside she had also killed Katarina… once... The bottom lane was the worst with Ezreal at five deaths and no kills. While Sona had no deaths, she also didn't have enough to do any real difference on her own. It was a losing battle all in all and Renekton wasn't helping with all the horrible comments he was throwing to his teammates whenever one of them was unfortunate enough to back or respawn with him there. Nasus still remembered Lux almost crying before running towards her lane after something Renekton said to her. Nasus sighed. Garen noticed this and offered a pained smile of his own.

"I'm sorry for what is happening to your team, for what it's worth, my whole team besides Katarina and I are being a bunch of arrogant pricks," said Garen.

Nasus just sighed. Suddenly Renekton jumped out of the bush without warning surprising Garen… as well as Nasus.

**"BROTHER WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" **yelled Nasus in alarm.

**"GANKING WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE I'M DOING?!"** roared Renekton.

Renekton charged in at Garen… who was right next to the tower at the time. As soon as Renekton's blade met Garen's, the tower immediately changed its target from a minion to Renekton. Renekton realizing the stupid move turned to flee all while yelling.

**"BRUVAH I AM PINNED HERE!"**

Garen was in the middle of the process of silencing Renekton, but the sheer oddity of the phrase threw him off balance thus allowing Renekton to escape into the brush. Nasus simply stared after Renekton as he ran passed.

_Did my brother… really just reference something from Warhammer?_

Nasus pinched the bridge of his nose.

_Damn you Diomedes._

* * *

In a galaxy far, far, away a man in a crimson red armor sneezed before cursing.

"BRUVAH I HAVE SNEEZED ON THE CODEX ASTARTES," he roared.

Suddenly another man in similar armor with different decoration appeared out of nowhere looking ready to yell extremely loud.

"No," said the man a dull voice with a dramatically surprised face.

* * *

Nasus continued to watch Renekton run back to the base before looking at Garen who propped himself up with his sword.

"Did your brother really just…" started Garen.

**"Yes…"** said Nasus, **"Yes he did…"**

Garen shook his head before the two continued with their deadlock once again with neither side giving any leewa-

**"BRUVAH I AM HIT!"**

This time both Nasus and Garen face-faulted at the booming sound of Renekton's voice which was louder than the announcer's voice, which followed soon after.

_**"Executed."**_

Garen slowly got up and looked at the direction from where the yell came from.

"Is this going to be an ongoing theme for the rest of the game?" asked Garen.

Nasus was about to answer when suddenly Renekton's voice carried again.

**"BRUVAH I WILL TAKE IT…. TO GLORY AND VICTORY!"**

Nasus slowly closed his mouth while Garen scratched his cheek.

"I'll take that as a yes…"

* * *

Nasus recalled later to find Ezreal already there glaring at the floor. When he saw Nasus appear on the platform he immediately marched over.

"What the hell is your brother doing?!" growled Ezreal.

Nasus was stumped. He really had no clue what Renekton was up to either leaving him to simply stare down at Ezreal with nothing to say. Ezreal threw his arms up in defeat before stomping back down to his lane. Nasus shook his head before buying his items and walking back to his lane. While he was going he felt another ping that Renekton was once again on his way to top lane… and Nasus had barely taken a step from base.

_Oh gods… brother please don't do this…_

Nasus ran as fast as his heavy body would allow toward his tower.

**"BRUVAH I AM PINNED HERE!"**

Nasus groaned.

_This is starting to become quite tedious._

When Nasus got to his tower he caught sight of Renekton at low health standing close to the stone structure while swinging rapidly at Garen who simply looked rather confused. Nasus breathed a sigh of relief that his brother made it out… or at least was until a shock of red appeared right behind Renekton. Nasus once again groaned as Katarina unleashed a flurry of knives at Renekton before he could get there dwindling down his health to nothing. But Renekton didn't go down before saying one last thing…

**"IT IS THE BANEBLAYDE!"**

Once Katarina shunpo'd to where Garen was they both stared at the alligator's corpse. Nasus looked as well with a withered look. Katarina looked to Garen with a brow raised.

"What did that overgrown lizard call me?" asked Katarina.

Garen scratched his cheek.

"Uh.. a Baneblayde."

Katarina blinked.

"What the hell is a Baneblayde?"

Nasus sighed.

**"It is a large vehicle of destruction made entirely of metal… it is virtually indestructible,"** muttered Nasus.

Katarina looked at Nasus and then at Garen before looking back at Nasus again.

"Why did your brother call me that?" she asked.

Nasus simply shrugged before looking at his tower, which looked like it would fall after literally one hit from a minion. He looked back at Katarina and Garen who both had their ultimates up. He gave a sigh of resignation before hefting his axe. He wouldn't be going down without a fight. Called upon his inner strength causing him to grow into a towering titan with a maelstrom of dark sand. Garen and Katarina charged in with their blade screaming as they cut into Nasus' flesh while his axe and aura tore into theirs. Katarina immediately took out the tower leaving Nasus on his own in a losing battle, but he did not relent. He set his sights upon Garen unleashing a mighty cry as he brought his axe down upon the Might of Demacia. From his back he could feel Katarina's knives digging into him in quick succession. Just then Garen slammed his sword into the ground and it was then that Nasus knew that it was over for him. The last thing he saw was a mighty ephemeral sword crashing down upon him.

* * *

When Nasus respawned, he caught sight of Renekton standing near the nexus staring at the sky deep in thought. Nasus gave a heavy sigh before marching up to Renekton.

**"Brother, wha-,"** started Nasus, but Renekton immediately silenced him with a wave.

**"Hush, I'm trying to think," **growled Renekton.

Nasus stared at Renekton for the longest time.

_Renekton… think…_

Suddenly the sound of the rest of the team recalling brought him back to his senses. Apparently after his valiant death, the others soon followed giving the enemy team an ace as well as the middle inhibitor. Ezreal suddenly stepped forward with an annoyed expression.

"C'mon guys, we might still be able to steal Baron from them!" growled Ezreal readying his ultimate only to be slammed to the ground by Renekton's fist.

**"FOOLISH HUMAN, DON'T YOU SEE THAT I HAVE A PLAN?!" **growled Renekton.

Nasus blinked at this while the girls looked at one another in fear. Ezreal… well his face was buried in the stone.

* * *

Nasus hid in the bush just next to Baron Nasher wondering exactly why he even agreed to this. Right next to him was Sona who looked just as uneasy about this… plan… Sona turned to Nasus and strummed a couple of quite cords.

_"Curator of the Sands, do you trust that your brother is mentally stable?"_

Nasus understood the woman's unease and sighed.

**"I know not, but at this point what do we have to lose?" **asked Nasus.

Sona sighed silently in agreement. Suddenly Renekton stepped up next to them in the bush and crouched looking down at the ward that Nasus had placed earlier.

**"Perfect, everything is set and ready to go," **muttered Renekton.

Nasus shook his head and looked back at Baron Nasher all the while having a certain question swirling around in his head. Just as he saw the other team starting their advance upon Baron Nasher he decided that it must be asked. Nasus turned to Renekton.

**"Brother are you sure about this?" **asked Nasus, **"The codex doesn't necessarily support this action."**

Renekton seemed to get even more worked up at those words.

**"NO! THE CODEX ASTARSES CALLS THIS ACTION STEELRAYNE!"** he growled before jumping down into the pit in the middle of the other team.

Nasus along with Sona stared after Renekton aghast.

_I meant the codex of the League! Not the… ugh! Diomedes I'm going to find you and end you when this game is over…_

**"BRUVAH I AM HIT!"**

Nasus sighed before motioning to Sona. She nodded hesitantly before the two jumped down into the pit as well. When Nasus landed the first thing he saw was Renekton running like a headless chicken around Baron Nasher that was trying (and surprisingly failing) to sink its teeth into him. On the other team, Garen, Vayne and Katarina were focusing on attacking Baron Nasher while Thresh and Hecarim chased Renekton around. Thresh, upon seeing Nasus and Sona immediately threw down his ultimate ability causing a cage to emerge from the ground with its bars made of the suffering souls that Thresh captured. Sona immediately cringed floating a bit behind Nasus while Nasus positioned himself protectively in front of her. Renekton, being in the cage with Thresh, did what anybody would do in this situation: run right into the bars of the cage. As soon as Renekton's nose touched the bars, the cage broke and thousands of spirits descended upon the alligator pulling at him and slowing him by a significant amount.

**"BRUVAH I AM PINNED HERE!"**

The other team seemed to stumble a bit before continuing on with what they were doing still trying to get used to Renekton's sudden love for shouting. Nasus saw Thresh readying to hook Renekton and immediately ran to intercept only to be bulldozed by Hecarim. Nasus grunted at the impact managing to stay on his feet. Immediately Sona played a tune that eased the pain in his wounds and slowly healed him. Upon seeing this, Hecarim immediately set his ghastly eyes upon the Maven of the Strings. Before anything could be said, however, Renekton grabbed the chain that held him and threw his head toward the sky shouting at the top of his lungs.

**"OPERATION STEELRAYNE!"**

_There's the signal…_

Nasus immediately activated his ultimate along with Renekton causing their size to rival that of Baron Nasher. Their combined destructive auras immediately tore into the other team and Baron Nasher. Sona then flashed behind the enemy team and used her ultimate, a beautiful tune that cause the whole other team to start dancing without meaning to. Then, from the jungle, a brilliant beam of light seared through the other team followed by an arc of arcane energy that caught all of the other team including Baron Nasher, causing the voice to go off in tangents.

_**"Your team has slain Baron Nasher."**_

_** "PENTAKILL!"**_

_** "Ace."**_

Nasus blinked.

_Wait… did that actually just work?_

Nasus was snapped out of his daze when Renekton's booming voice echoed across Summoner's Rift once again.

**"BRUVAH I WILL TAKE IT… TO GLORY AND VICTORY!"** roared Renekton as he charged at the enemy base.

Nasus quickly followed along with the rest of the team, they took down the mid lane towers in rapid succession until finally they got to the inhibitor tower where Garen, who was the first to respawn, was waiting. Renekton charged at Garen without the slightest hesitation.

**"OPERATION STEELRAYNE!" **he roared.

"JUSTICE!" roared Garen in response as he slammed his sword into the ground.

The familiar sword fell from the sky and slammed down upon Renekton killing him instantly. Nasus stared at his brother's corpse, his brow twitching ever so slightly. By this time, the other team had fully respawned and was charging up behind Garen. Nasus and his team immediately ran back to their base with the other team hot at their heels. Lux fell before she could reach the base due to being caught by Thresh's hook. Soon after went Ezreal who decided to turn and try picking off Vayne, only to get smashed in by Garen and Hecarim. Sona was almost dead due to Katarina coming in and using her ultimate on her, but was saved by a flash and a well-timed "Whither" spell from Nasus, but that left Nasus to defend the nexus turrets on his own. Nasus fought hard and well, but he could only do so much against five champions on his own. Pretty soon both nexus towers were down leaving Nasus as the final line of defense with Sona supporting him with health. Just then Renekton respawned and ran up behind Nasus.

**"I DON'T UNDERSTAND! HOW COULD IT END LIKE THIS?!" **ranted Renekton.

The other team stopped their assault to look at the Butcher of the Sands in confusion and surprise.

**"OPERATION STEELRAYNE! HOW COULD THE CODEX ASTARTES FAIL ME LIKE THIS!"** continued Renekton causing Nasus and Sona to face-palm while the other team face-faulted.

Nasus felt his teeth clench as he recited in his head over and over.

_Stay calm, stay calm, stay calm._

**"THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS… THIS IS MADNESS!" **roared Renekton.

Something within Nasus snapped as he slowly turned to his brother.

**"Madness?"** asked Nasus in a low, but menacing voice.

The tone immediately caused the other team to take a step back while his brother blinked a bit taken aback himself.

**"THIS. IS. SPARTA!" **roared Nasus before he slammed his foot into Renekton's chest sending the alligator flying at high speed into the nexus causing it to explode.

Nasus then turned and stormed off in the opposite direction while the other team immediately cleared out of the way for him, even as the voice overhead said the typical _**"Defeat…"**_ or_** "Victory!" **_depending on whose side the champion was on. Needless to say, nobody dared to mention Operation Steelrayne in fear that they too would earn Nasus' ire… as well as a mighty painful kick to the chest.

FIN


	3. The Misadventures of the Chained Warden

**The Misadventures of the Chained Warden**

_**Thirty seconds until minions spawn.**_

Thresh, the Chained Warden swung his chained scythe around in anticipation for the coming match as he sat in a bush near the red buff to help his team's jungler, Lee Sin, the Blind Monk.

_**"Hmm… I wonder how I should inflict pain this time?"**_ he mused out loud.

Next to him, Vayne, the Night Hunter, shifted uncomfortably.

"Would you keep your blasted ideas to yourself?" she grumbled, "I'm having enough issues dealing with the fact that I'm going to be shooting… myself!"

Thresh chuckled darkly at his adc's misery (the tunes are so sweet wouldn't you agree?).

_**"All the better… hehehehehe…"**_

Vayne looked like she was about to retort, when suddenly out of nowhere a blast of purple energy shot through the trees… but missed both Vayne and Thresh by a wide arch.

_**"HEHEHEHE WHAT KIND OF SHOT WAS TH-."**_

Thresh didn't get to finish his sentence as the blast suddenly split into two directions, one of them slamming right into Thresh's face. The Chained Warden staggered back in surprise before shaking his head and glaring.

_**"WHO IN THE HELL DID THAT?!"**_

Vayne smirked at the undead warden's plight.

"It seems that the new guy's aim is pretty spot on… I think I'm beginning to like him… although he is from the void…" she said.

Thresh's retort was drowned out by the voice overhead.

_**Minions have spawned.**_

Thresh huffed and stomped down towards the bush closest to the red buff where he saw Lee Sin and Lulu, the Fae Sorceress laughing their butts off.

"Oh man that was _gold!"_ cried Lulu in between laughs, her posture very similar to the laugh of the Loose Cannon.

Lee Sin simply continued to laugh. If Thresh had an eyebrow it would be twitching violently.

_**"STOP LAUGHING!"**_ he roared in a very similar fashion of a certain Tiny Master of Evil…

* * *

"ACHOOO!"

…

…

…

"You're the Grand Master of 'Achoo'?" asked Teemo, the Swift Scout in confusion.

Next to him Rumble, the Mechanical Menace and Tristana, the Megling Gunner tried to hold back their laughter.

"You really don't seem too evil to me!" said Rumble.

The yordle in question in the over sized purple hat shook in anger.

"I AM EVIL!" shouted Veigar, "STOP LAUGHING!"

And then he glared at the sky.

"AND STOP STEALING MY LINES!"

* * *

Thresh huffed and turned to glare at the campfire at the red buff trying to ignore the snickers from his teammates. It was nearly time for the red buff to spawn when-

"HOLY FUCKING SHIT!" screamed Vayne as she came running like the devil himself was after her.

Well… it may very well have been the devil as a demonic looking jester came running right behind her with his usual insane smile. Thresh felt excitement build at the thought of an early fight as he swung his scythe to throw only to see the hulking form of Renekton, Butcher of the Sands following the jester closely, his angry eyes set on the retreating Night Hunter. Still, Thresh knew that it was two on four so he continued the process of throwing his hook making it hit it's mark, which happened to be Shaco, the Demon Jester. Shaco immediately stopped in favor of struggling to free himself from his shackles but with his demonic smile still in place… then again Thresh is no better. His head is a floating skull for crying out loud. But continuing with the story, Thresh's hook allowed Vayne a few precious seconds to escape to the safety of her team… only for them to find out that the rest of the other team was flanking from the opposite direction. Thresh spotted the other Vayne, Leona, the Radiant Dawn, and a… Thresh stared.

_**"A giant… freaking floating eyeball… with tentacles…" **_he said.

The said eyeball simply blinked at Thresh while it's tentacles twirled around. Vayne and Lulu eyed the tentacles while shivering a bit causing Thresh to groan.

_**"For the love of god this is NOT a freaking hentai-fic!"**_ he roared.

Everybody stopped what they were doing in favor of staring at Thresh.

"Uh… what are you doing?" asked Lee Sin.

_**"I'M BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL!" **_roared Thresh.

Suddenly a man wearing a red jumpsuit that covered his whole body with two katanas across his back appeared out of nowhere.

"Hey bro that's my job!" he said indignantly before looking around, "And by the way do you guys happen to have some chimichung-."

_**"WRONG F***ING FRANCHISE YOU IMBECILE!"**_ roared Thresh before booting the man to kingdom come before turning to yell up at the sky, _**"AND WHY THE F*** ARE YOU BLEEPING MY CUSSING?! VAYNE JUST F*** CUSSED JUST A WHILE AGO YOU SH**HEAD!"**_

Leona blinked at this.

"Well… that was random…"

Everybody nodded in agreement… before continuing to kill each other. And for some reason the enemy team decided to focus Thresh first.

_**"OH F*** YOU!"**_

_**First Blood.**_

* * *

Things weren't looking too great, it was the middle of the game and the other team was at an advantage thanks to a successful heist of the red buff as well as a couple of kills… one of them being the Chained Warden.

_**"I'M STILL BITTER ABOUT THAT!"**_

"Who the hell are you yelling at?" asked Vayne in confusion.

_**"I'M YELLING A-," **_Thresh started to lament when suddenly he noticed something,_** "WAIT WHAT THE F*** YOU'RE THE OTHER TEAM'S VAYNE!"**_

The Vayne in question blinked before cocking her head.

"How'd you know?" she asked.

_**"BECAUSE MY VAYNE DIED A FEW SECONDS AGO! HOW THE HELL WERE YOU ABLE TO KILL YOUR OWN MINIONS?!"**_

"I didn't."

_**"…What?"**_

Suddenly the said minions jumped up from where they lay.

"SURPRISE MOTHA FUCKA!" they yelled at the same time.

_**"OH F*** ME!"**_

Thresh immediately hi-tailed it out of there with a bunch of minions and two enemy champions on his tail the whole while screaming at the top of his lungs:

_**"HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAX!"**_

_** You have been slain.**_

* * *

Thresh grumbled to himself as he stalked towards the middle lane.

_**"Stupid team, stupid adc, stupid hax stupid everything!"**_ he cursed as he continued on.

His team had by some miracle not lost any towers even though they were down 20 – 0.

_**"Greedy a**holes," **_grumbled Thresh before sticking his middle finger up to the sky.

Thresh finally arrived at the middle lane to see that there was nobody else there.

_Guess I can use this time to farm up a bit._

Thresh immediately started to clear the lane waiting for his mid laner to return. Suddenly a great ray of sunlight slammed down upon the Chained Warden.

_**"OH C'MON!"**_

Right afterwards, a sword of sunlight slashed into Thresh and Leona came flying out of the brush. She immediately slammed Thresh with her sun-powered shield-

_**"IT'S CALLED SOLAR POWER YOU IMBECILE!"**_

… Sun-powered. And Leona looked at Thresh like he was an idiot.

_**"F*** YOU!"**_

Suddenly the floating eyeball appeared before Thresh staring intently at him. Thresh stared back in his stunned state. Suddenly the eyeball began to talk-.

_**"HOW THE F*** DOES A FLOATING EYEBALL TALK?!" **_roared Thresh, _**"IT DOESN'T EVEN HAVE A MOUTH!"**_

The eyeball stared at Thresh before speaking up again _telepathically._

_**"Oh… that makes sense… what does he say?"**_

_"__**DOCTOR OCTAGONAPUS," **_started the eyeball.

_**"OH SHI-,"**_ started Thresh.

_**"BWAAAAAAAAAAAH!"**_ roared the eyeball as it shot a great purple laser at the Chained Warden.

_**"AAAAAARRRRGGH!"**_

_**You have been slain.**_

* * *

The match continued on, as Thresh looked frantically this way and that like a paranoid freak.

_**"Piss off I'm not in the mood,"**_ growled Thresh.

Thresh continued scouting the river near bottom turret. Lee Sin came walking down soon after. Suddenly the sound of an orchestra started to be heard.

_**"WTF?"**_

Lee Sin didn't seem to notice as he focused on chasing the eyeball. It was then that Thresh noticed Leona attempting to sneak behind the Blind Monk. Thresh immediately threw his hook and caught Leona, but when he did the sound of trumpets made him jump a bit.

_**"Why am I starting to get a bad feeling about this?"**_

Meanwhile the music started to get louder and more intense. Thresh tried to ignore it as he and Lee Sin continued to pummel Leona forcing her to flash away. Suddenly it clicked to Thresh.

_**"I know this song! It's the Superman Theme Song!" **_said Thresh as he threw his hook at Leona effectively grabbing her, _**"Why would… wait…"**_

Suddenly Thresh felt void energy build under him right when he pulled towards Leona.

_**"Oh… SH**!"**_

Right as the song hit it's climax note, Thresh was sent flying high in the air by the eyeball's knock-up ability.

_**"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!"**_

Thresh continued to fly high up in the air until he was a little spec in the sky. Everybody stopped and looked up to watch as the Chained Warden screamed like a little girl…

**FI-**

_**"OH F*** NO YOU'RE NOT FINISHING IT HALF-ASSED LIKE THIS!"**_

…Fine.

**TO BE CONTINUED… MAYBE… HUE HUE HUE…**


	4. Do You Want to Build a Gunman?

**Note: This story has more of a dramatic aspect to it, I know it's kind of a whole different direction from 'The Misadventures of the Chained Warden', but after watching **_**Frozen**_** again I just had to add this to the mix. Plus, I did say that there was going to be a range of stories in this. So without further ado…**

**Do You Want to Build a Gunman?**

Deep in the bowels of a research institute in the city-state of Zuan, a small girl with bright blue hair and bright purple eyes. She had her long hair two long braids and she was humming to herself and skipping down the hall until she reached a certain door. If her smile could get any bigger it would as she knocked politely before bursting inside.

"VI!" she whispered excitedly.

Laying in a lone bed in the far corner of the room was another little girl that seemed a bit older than the blue-haired girl only with bright pink hair with the roman numeral symbol for the number four branded to her left cheek just under one of her eyes. The pink haired girl or 'VI' simply groaned and continued to keep her eyes closed, but the blue-haired girl knew that she had woken her up. She immediately jumped on the bed and started to shake the other girl.

"C'mon wake up, wake up!" she said with her smile still in place.

VI groaned again.

"It's too early XV…" muttered VI, "Go back to bed…"

XV suddenly lay on top of VI making overdramatic movements.

"But the main monitors are awake, so I'm awake, so we have to play," moaned XV.

"Go play by yourself," grumbled VI pushing XV off her and off the side of the bed.

XV landed on her rump on the cold tile with an 'oof'. She pouted there for a second before an idea clicked in her head. She immediately hopped back on the bed and lifted one of VI's lid's revealing a brilliant blue iris.

"Do you wanna build a gunman?" asked XV with a sly smirk on her face.

XV then released VI's eyelid only for VI to open both her eyes and look at XV with a smile of her own.

The two girls giggled as they ran down the halls with VI half-heartedly shushing her sister while smiling the whole time. They finally reached a heavily reinforced door with the word 'Armory' on it.

"C'mon lift the door again!" said XV jumping up and down excitedly.

VI simply took a deep breath with her smile still in place before reaching down below the door and lifting it as if it weighed as much as a paper clip. XV watched with wide eyes.

"Whoa…" she said in amazement.

XV then shook her head and the two made their way inside leaving the armory door ajar. Once inside the girls started to tinker with all the weapons inside making their own creations that still worked. Suddenly VI turned towards XV with a rocket launcher with a head shaped like a shark's head.

"Hi XV I'm Fishbones and I like living peaceful evenings," said VI in a lower voice while opening and closing the mouth at the point of the gun.

XV giggled before running up and hugging the rocket launcher in her arms.

"I love you Fishbones!" she said.

The girls then proceeded to make rocket propelled sleds with rocket propelled grenades and made tiny toys out of scrap metal they played with together. Suddenly XV jumped up on top of a high shelf and jumped off.

"Catch me!" she said.

"Hold on," said VI with a smile still in place as she punched the ground.

Suddenly a part of the floor jutted up enough to act as a platform for XV. XV immediately jumped off and VI repeated the action again and again, but as XV started to get more excited she started to faster. VI saw this and suddenly her smile started to fade.

"XV slow down!" she begged as she desperately tried to keep up.

XV was oblivious as she continued at a faster pace.

"Wait!" cried VI as she moved to punched the ground again only to trip over one of the many toys they made causing the girl to fall flat on her face.

VI immediately looked and gasped in horror when she saw XV jump off the most recent platform oblivious to the fact that VI wasn't ready.

"XV!" she cried slamming her fist down on the ground in desperation to keep XV from harm.

The platform came up like all the others… but it came ten times faster. The force sent XV flying into the ceiling with a sickening crunch before falling all the way to the floor where she lay in a crumpled heap. VI gasped.

"XV!" she cried as she ran as fast as she could to XJ's limp form.

As she cradled her head in her arms she cried out weakly through teary eyes.

"Papa! Papa!" she whimpered as she held XV's head to her chest.

Without her knowing, her body started to glow an eerie blue with the metal around her starting to warp in response including the little metal toys.

"It's okay XV…" whimpered VI, "I got you."

Suddenly a man in a lab coat ran in. His eyes immediately focused in on VI and XV.

"VI! XV! Are you two alright?!" he asked as he ran towards them.

"It was an accident," whimpered VI before putting her head on XV's, "Oh XV…"

The man quickly knelt next to VI and checked XV's pulse. He sighed in relief when he felt a weak but steady beat.

"Your sister still has time," he said, "But we must hurry, come on."

The man gently took XV into his arms before rushing down the halls with VI hot at his heels. The man kicked the door open into the medical room where medical supplies were already lined up thanks to the preparation of the AI.

"All supplies have been prepared Dr. Norman," said a synthetic female voice.

The man didn't reply his focus solely on the dying girl in his arms. Norman immediately threw off his lab coat and started to work with VI staring with wide, teary eyes feeling her guilt grow stronger each moment. Norman worked for what seemed like hours to keep XV from dying and only when the girl's breathing became steady again with a rhythmic heartbeat. Norman wiped his brows before glancing up at the ceiling.

"Veronica, what's the verdict," said Norman tiredly.

"Subject XV's life signs have been restored to optimal levels, however the brain trauma was intense enough to cause permanent damage. The subject will not remember recent events in their truest form, but she will remember most long term memories."

Norman sighed.

"Thank you, you may power off."

"Logging you out, Doctor."

Norman stared down at XV for a long time before looking up at VI who looked like she was about to break down right there. He sighed again before walking over and sitting beside her. He put a comforting arm around her and held her close allowing her to let out all of her sorrow into his chest. Norman closed his eyes.

"You have to be more careful with your strength VI," said Norman, "It is dangerous if you cannot handle it correctly.

The girl sniffed before looking up at the caring eyes looking down upon her. Norman smiled.

"I-I can't play with XV anymore," she whispered, "I don't wanna hurt her."

Norman saw this coming and sighed.

"We'll work on controlling your power, together," he promised, "And then you can play with XV all you want."

The girl sniffed,

"You promise?"

"I promise."

* * *

XV woke up feeling refreshed. It was a month sense she the accident she didn't really remember, but she did know that she wanted to play with VI like all the other times… but for some reason VI kept avoiding her and locking herself in her room. XV was sad and confused and when she went to ask her papa he would simply smile down at her sadly and tell her to 'give her sister time'. Today, however, XV was determined to play with her sister. XV immediately hopped off her bed and skipped over to her sister's room before sliding to a stop in front of it.

"VI?" she asked before knocking a tune on the door.

_"Do you wanna build a gunman?" _she sang, _"C'mon let's go and play."_

XV then turned and leaned on door sliding down it as she continued to sing.

_"I never you see you anymore, you're out the door, it's like you've gone away…"_

XV got up and leaned her head against the door with only her head.

_"We used to be best buddies… but now we're not I only wonder why…"_

XV then jumped up and looked to the door with eager eyes.

_"So do you wanna build a gunman?"_

XV leaned in and put her mouth into the keyhole on the knob.

_"It doesn't have to be a gunman!"_

Suddenly VI's muffled voice came through making XV perk up.

"Go away XV…"

XV visibly deflated.

_"Okay bye…"_

"Here, these goggles have a built in limiter on them that you can turn on and off simply by putting them on and off," said Norman placing a pair of high-tech goggles over VI's head, "And they'll also help keep stuff out of your eyes."

VI bit her lip with guilt still in her eyes, which didn't escape Norman's notice. He smiled again before picking up VI's chin.

"You can always see XV you know," he said, "She misses you."

VI closed her eyes.

"I miss her too…" she whispered before yanking away from Norman's hand and turning away, "But I can't be near her! Not until I fix myself…"

Norman hated seeing the girl he saw as a daughter acting like this.

"VI… there is nothing wrong with you," he said, "You just need to learn to control your strength."

VI didn't answer, she simply stared at the floor.

* * *

XV skipped up to the door again and knocked the same knock she always did.

_"Do you want to build a gunman," _she sang before putting on a pair of peculiar skates.

_"Or rocket skate around the hall…" _she sang before crashing into a crate full of nitrogen canisters, which thankfully didn't blow up, _"I think some company is overdue."_

XV jumped up and ran into the armory.

_"I've started talking to the weapons on the walls!"_

XV slid to a stop resting on her back with her hands behind her head. She then lifted an arm pointing at a certain Gatling gun.

"Hang in there Pow-Pow," she said with a wink before getting up and walking over to a workbench.

_"It get's a little lonely… all these empty rooms," _continued XV while turning on one of her Chomper grenades and watching it chatter away.

_"Watching the hours tick by…"_

Chatter. Chatter. Chatter. Chatter.

* * *

"It's getting worse!" whimpered VI staring in despair at the destroyed training room around her.

Norman reached over to comfort her.

"It only get's worse if you're upset," he said.

VI noticed the hand and immediately jumped away.

"NO! Don't touch me!" she cried curling within herself, "I don't want to hurt you…"

Norman sighed with a sad look on his face.

* * *

XV laughed as she slid around already through her first growth spurt and already double her initial size. Suddenly she spotted VI's room and stopped short to stare at it before slowly walking away. She immediately shook away the sadness and ran over to Norman's office where she saw Norman making sure he had everything he needed. XV immediately tackled the man into a hug almost causing him to fall forward.

"Have a safe trip papa!" she giggled.

Norman chuckled before turning around and wrapping XV into a proper hug before kissing her on the top of the head. XV then let him go and the two exchanged smiles before he made his way towards the exit. Along the way he suddenly saw VI leaning near the exit of the sector. VI, like XV had grown quite a bit looking like a young woman nearing her twenties.

"Do you have to go?" asked VI not looking up at Norman.

Norman went to put a hand on her shoulder only for to retract his hand when he saw her flinch away. He sighed.

"It will be fine, VI," he said with a reassuring smile.

* * *

"So I held him up like this and there was- Tim are you listening to me?"

"Hm…"

It was a sunny day in Piltover and citizens went about their business. It was the same for a police officer and his college having coffee during their break. One of them, Tim, was reading the paper.

"Jeesh, you're always reading the freaking paper when my stories are _so_ much more interesting," said the other man.

"The only problem with you're stories, cadet, is that they are made up," said the man looking over the paper at him, "My daughter it three years younger than you and she carries herself with much more class than you."

The man chuckled and waved his hand dismissively.

"That's because Cait is your daughter oh Sherriff of Piltover," stated the young man with cheeky smile on his face, "Hell, she's probably going to take your place!"

Tim chuckled,

"Heh, maybe…"

He then grazed over an article that read 'EXPLOSION AT ZUANITE INSTITUTE KILLS FIVE EMPLOYEES'.

_A shame… I hope they didn't have family…_

His eyes passed over the names:

'Dr. Yoeman, Dr. Ronan, Dr. Orlando, Dr. Vartic, Dr. Norman.'

* * *

XV limped down the hall with her hair shadowing her face. Ever since the death of her father, another, cruel scientist took his place putting both her and VI through rough military exercises. His 'training' was more like a survival camp, pushing their bodies past the limit until they almost broke. XV winced at her broken arm. She knew her quick regeneration would heal her wounds, but it still hurt. Suddenly XV found herself in front of VI's door. XV stared at the door in contemplation before hesitantly knocking.

"VI?" she asked.

When no answer came she let out a defeated sigh.

_"Please… I know you're in there… I've always wondered where you've been... They say 'have courage' I'm trying to… I'm right out here for you, just let me in…" _sang XV before turning around and leaning on the door and staring up at the ceiling, _"We only have each other… just you and me… what are we gonna do?"_

XV allowed a tear to escape as she closed her eyes.

_"Do you want to build a gunman?"_ she whispered.

On the other side of the door VI was leaning on the same door listening to her sister sing with her own tears threatening to come out. VI curled up and buried her head in her arms and silently cried. While on the other side XV did the same thing.

**FIN**


	5. The Most DEMACIAN Man in the World?

**The Most DEMACIAN Man in the World**

_He walks with an aristocratic grace that befits that of an overweight elephant…_

_ When he wears his armor, he automatically thinks that he can charge into any sort of situation... despite being level 1 and equipped with only a Doran's Shield…_

_ He can swing his sword 360 degrees without pause for hours without getting dizzy and can somehow slide across grass while doing so…_

_ He refuses to use cuss words and instead insults his enemies with worlds like 'vile scourge'…_

_ He can somehow make his enemies unable to attack him simply by slamming his sword down upon them… in a blow that should actually kill them…_

_ He has an odd infatuation with the very woman that was meant to be his sworn enemy and has somehow made her infatuated with him… along with every other female including his own sister…_

_ He screams the word "Justice" at the top of his lungs and somehow summons a huge sword from the sky…_

_ He likes to shout the name of his city-state at the top of his lungs…_

_ He is…_

**THUNDER CRACK**

_The most DEMACIAN man in the world…_

"I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I prefer Graggy's."

_Please drink Graggy's responsibly. Graggy's is not responsible for any heart failures, liver problems, or broken bones that may result in the inevitable overdoes of this beverage. In fact, we only put this up here because it's required for us to do so. You are probably too busy jacking off to you're friend's porn videos to pay attention to this anyway. I'm pretty sure you don't even hear this commercial dissing you right now. If you do we're sorry and we didn't mean any offense even if you are jacking off to your friend's porn videos. You are a disgusting human being and should go jump off a cliff. Or better yet drink Graggy's beer; it will kill you a lot faster and a lot less painfully. Ell Oh Ell, Jay Kay but seriously drink Graggy's beer. Drink it. You know you want to._

"…Stay thirty my friends."

* * *

"Hey pretty boy have you seen- HOLY FUCK!"

"GAH VI WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN HERE?!"

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING JACKING OFF?!"

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE?!"

"YOU LEFT THE DOOR OPEN!"

"NO I DIDN'T I LOCKED IT UP AS SOON AS I GOT HOME!"

"What's going on here?"

"Cupcake! This guy has been jacking off to god knows what, and I came wondering where my goggles were!"

"Hey! I was borrowing this stuff it's not actually mine!"

"What? So you stole it? Some 'Hero of Tomorrow' you are!"

"I didn't steal it! I borrowed it from someone!"

"Then who is it?"

"Caitlyn!"

"HAH! LIKE I'D BELIEVE THAT!"

"…"

"No! I really borrowed it from Caitlyn! Cait, help me out here!"

"… I've got stuff to do at the station."

"TRAITOR!"

"Whatever… just wait until everybody in Piltover hears about this… hue hue hue."

"WTF?! YOU'RE NOT MORDEKAISER DAMNIT!"

"I CAN LAUGH HOWEVER I WANT!"

**"WOULD YOU IMBECILES SHUT UP?!"**

"WTF?! HOW DID MORDEKAISER GET IN HERE?"

**"I BROKE IN, IMBECILE!"**

"Geesh at least _somebody_ admits it."

"WELL I'M NOT GONNA STOP YELLING BECAUSE I JUST WANNA YELL MY LUNGS OUT!"

**"YOU CALL THAT A YELL?! **_**THIS**_** IS A YELL YOU PINK-HAIRED… IMBECILE!"**

"And yet you were telling us to be quite just a while ago… and by the way why does everybody from Shadow Isles like to word 'imbecile'?"

"SHUT IT PRETTY BOY!

"No really, like remember that game where Thresh got completely owned for breaking the fourth wall?"

"Oh yeah… isn't he still up in the air right now?"

**"Yes and he'll stay there screaming like a little girl until the author writes a sequel of him falling down."**

"It seems like a common thing to break the fourth wall in the Shadow Isles as well."

**"Yes we do it all the time out spite because the author constantly bleeps out our cuss words therefore making us unable to cuss."**

"Speaking of breaking walls…"

BOOM!

"SAY HELLO TO MY FRIENDS OF VARIOUS SIZES!"

"JINX?!"

"HEHEHE BYE BYE!"

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

"WHAT THE FU-!"

BOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!

"AAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!"

**"HUE HUE HUE HUE HUE HUE! WE'RE FLYING IN THE F***ING AIR HALLELLUJAH! WELL PLAYED, AUTHOR!"**

"STOP BREAKING THE FUCKING FOURTH WALL!"

**"NEVAR!"**

**FIN**


End file.
